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Bugs Inside

by Harrison Watters

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1.
Hexes 06:01
Safe and shameful will we stay changing the angle dont mean it changed stomping the omens gaze on me and my friends the eclipse done impeached you and all your honest men theyre lost the pigeon on the door frame is all alone do you inspire dice clattering on the table is synonymous if youd just look sparks are arranging in hexes spoken with the word of the evening the foliage is beaming youre all alone so make the best of it
2.
Tough 03:13
oh i want so badly to build a life but i like the person i am when i get all fucked up and so does everyone else and as i barrel into the future who will step out and shout in my honor do i have enough of that stuff at all do i is it all coming up along the edge do we defend all of the fire in the sun till were gone oh i want so badly to build a family but i like the person i am when i blow everything off and so does everyone else are these truths because i believe them so are there folks who just love me anyway? then why is it so damn tough to see to love
3.
Feral 02:55
making plans with the feral cats i wish theyd hit me back shopping malls hate me too but at least im not sorry anymore shaving the face of the earth watching from space it hurts im not running to you with savage eyes we'll tear the light inside out again and again
4.
Pine/ 03:10
boy I pine ive done it for a long time intelligent by design and im convinced that these parts are working in tandem weather or not we brand them all neat and smart but kindness came into being in the wakes of the gods that we claim to see as did the cold dark rain of my never seeing you again and all gone but nowhere in particular and safe bets are the root of my dastardly sentiment she can shiver and burn for all i care and im caught all alone embracing the lightning i guess my heart has a point gifted beast to enslave for my exploits once felt at home in the open now nature demands my employ so find a coffin that fits if the writing is sweeter than living it i found my home in the void i am reason reaction and choice
5.
/Maple 05:30
everyday im changing heart and mind how can we distinguish wince from sigh you do fold along the creases build some depth structure is a virtue have i none left ive had a lot of time to mix and stew but theres not a lot of room for passing through bathing in the open softly glow gold is not a thing here run along home love maple growing sickly froth and pound rolling down the river you announce a renouncing relentless shout taken by the air its good to breathe again so she mouthed to have a lot of nerve and nervousness less so wise and proud weve never really met but this song might be yours so hang around but were better off alone to focus on whats real now unbound when youre down i know a place were always in space do you hear me now you know the song take me down and through the mind and the heart and the space and the ground and the maple
6.
Wrists 04:31
cars ride out slolem hounds the equine insurgence hit K and dropped down granite blocks water halts cut from the same cloth all of the same source and the marsh being flanked by the brass knuckled iron fist dug up from the earth and compiled with a smile we surround soft sweet powder for the nerves capillaries and hours heartbeat loud cackling sounds knowing when its free its so shamelessly sweet and i drive down the heartstrings of holy ghost swimming wakes up on upholstry with sharp xanny headaches and i clasp and clamp down on the stoked fire ashings that depict and read out all my brain smears way too clear holding guns to the heads of the moons and their ailments risking wrists for the hands to control all your outputs but breathing gets so soft after minutes of coughing and calming down and the pinkest i love you slips out from the sleeve on the couch and crust eyed i awaken with sledgehammer eardrums the sun now florescent comes stinks up my air with mortality and lust and loneliness and headaches more headaches more wishing all was so blatantly brilliantly simple as this
7.
Comfort 01:44
five-thirty home plug in the computer the keys are soft and the pixels are tasty and holy dirt is cultured and wet smoke pulls up collapses the tension wrapping thorns around a lack of intention and every house is a home to a few atrophied these muscles daily wasted bound by ceramic armor in a mech-suit clambering into the art gallery of extinction but the soul is unbroken exempt from the natural law god what a beautiful comforting illusion it is
8.
the estranged strangeling is waning, salty-eyed, fruit in hand. When her fingerless twigs bear no vegetable, no sunshine, gravity sits in her place. Flat and sun-baked are the citrus critics, with stars of five so memorable and easy. We do not feel them, but not because we cant. In the holy mountain light, she finds herself swallowed in hands like crocodile teeth. We await anxiously for her return. My sweet sun-shaded cinnamon-like flavor. Do we find ourselves appreciated even when found under the coldest stone, or studied with titanium scalpel, harvested in the light of scientific morality. Fester and fester will that timeless investor, pink with excitement as his clamshell mouth slowly shuts forever. And with final utterance, colorful as fastfood slogan, he too finds himself shut. Up and out, over and under, being kind and wandering no longer, for the counted spirit has finally left.
9.
The Open 03:54
I pray for the open with disdain for the omens breathes sunlight perhaps some human-ness into my hide faced with opposition to this molting speculate the karaoke singers hopelessly eroding and its bad for its bad for the open innate do we wait for resurrection cause its not likely these days holding out the page shall we dance to the answer cause the questions not enough to know are the lives in question for the taking better hope not does it undermine our love and fear of everything and still you pray for you pray for the news
10.
Soil Frozen 04:02
since then its all holding holding on smoke and a beer in one hand its not you its them its them its them its them scent of boiling hatred on your clothes and the pavement hoping its not there for hours now and hours now calm is fatal cats in a cradle behind exposed navel notice the paper in the yew its the devils garden yeah did she hold it down around and is the common mind not you is the soil frozen yet do we have more patience at all did i miss out on the place i think i missed out on the place
11.
Water's Red 02:42
Pray for this morning savor the day break for lunch after flavor the day you insist the waters red the waters red the waters dead save for the antlers pray for the ants broken are the ribs with love for this lens through which the waters red the waters red the waters dead
12.
Sheep Chomp 04:04
while the sheep chomp on the brown grass we'll groove making movements like the elk did away and its safe to say were alone again at least to say there is no god that could sneak up on me now say it aint so god can laugh and you cant hide the cheerful island is just a cell whose host is sick and substance is wrong yet it charms the holy young and nature is tough should we exfoliate it smooth lets snatch the gifts up and carry them to where we arent safe the open it sings but i cant hear what its saying to me
13.
cast the shadows on the carpet and tile floor that ive shared with so few gruesome and delicate transcribe the translation and rearrange my genome so ill mean well and fortify my protein structure everywhere i so care come on man so simple it never really is i put my shirt on backwards every morning my biology is messy and untested i invested everything in it hoping the past wont notice what im doing thinking fast but from and ill informed perspective she might notice how im feeling maybe the peace corps will give up all the answers maybe its the hermits life for me my dear im still open to it iron clad chad lays in the grass counting the filaments and growing food doing what it is humans do iron clad chad lays in the grass holding field guides like fencing foils keeping his thoughts off the old soils oil state calls these days nightly breaking bones they might be state calls these days nightly raiding homes they might be
14.
Serpent/ 02:56
Hey the serpent is shriveling eagle is weeping mankind is thickening growing is the open between the three chase the fondness of animals chill in the fire the old texts have been annulled the death of god is not an insult but it sure is a problem these shoes are empty will these feet fit break the chains of indifference fear of the end and embrace the excellence new gods will delight in the confidence sweet so sweet is the suffering strife of the young the cold touch of the oak tree shapeless and thoughtful and lonley thats the way to be as far as i can see
15.
/Eagle 03:23
focus breathe well this urge is not real some strength required eat sleep expire I betcha my god can beat up your god is this the deity we had in mind time-thief yearning farewell rat-king how are you now wings clipped unfound theres no horizon in new york city but is the sunlight all we need tryina drink more often cause it keeps me honest and im lost keepin copacetic's got me hooked on genetics and im gone mom and dad both taught me when the hail gets too heavy get inside but i cant keep my eyes off all the smashed up windshields im alive
16.
Buried (III) 01:32
Brainshine in the infinite circling thought pattern of the moon. She is sweet, soft, sharp and green... astounds me as countlessly as are the changes from enviously green needle to bashful blue backdrop. She painted these colors perfectly, swiftly and unknowingly. She humbles me, and my intelligence humbles her back. She cannot know my appreciation as I express it to her. My bony fingers clambering through her cold soil, my tanned flesh against the infinite yellowing warmth of her sunshine, my calloused souls against the rough and ever-changing texture of her treebark. She knows me well, and not at all. Our encounters are anti and ant eyes are her ears, and the rain is her language. Scallops and horseshoe crabs scatter across her wet skin like an artful acne, and it is not for the faint of heart. And may my heart faint in her wake, let me lose sight of her in the ocean. May I someday be buried beneath and falling apart within her, and only then will we finally fuck passionately.
17.
Hours 01:26
hold your pride its not the time yet just get off of your knees and stay out of your head get the fuck out of here its not a joke wait yes it is now i dont know anymore just stay out of my heart while its regenerating and im sick from home youre not wrong youre not you anymore
18.
Ghast 02:38
hey man just let me feel this out for a while wake up the bile all bubbling up lean-to gently if thats your thing great gasp the ghastly emotives have passed forehead pressed on the glass sweet farce a billion bits to parce save clothes folding a thought in the neck instinct braces the heart with a drink amen the open has torn me again from a broken and heartless friend been farming its charming if colder im stronger
19.
Kin 06:20
burn it all down so says the so called better me and im clumsy too soft sticky and glued everyone is a mess but pulling through now im stumbling drunk and thinking loud while the hornets and slugs all dance around i sat alone in bitter cold did not learn a thing and i watched the sun and she watched me the while she ducked behind all the leaves and water too erupting in pinkish orange hue thats how she called the gang for supper and contemplation games with personal stories set aside we absolve in the gorgeous visual light embracing the silent songs of science im broken frail and fucked up shaping the earth with clay and sand on my throne of dirt and spoiled ham shoe shined clean cut seasoned man have you met god do you know of her plan maticulous she is not she coats in colors trees and rocks but mankind gave us books and clocks concretion it builds like blocks with open eyes and ears and lungs the frogless throats and teeth and guns the famished voice now finally loud can travel through the sediment shaking the ground (and the crowd) but silent spring is here losing the bets weve been placing for years and mankinds lover turns away her green too pure for him these days alone and disparaged we'll all decay but drop that arrogance boy theres beauty in the world hide up on a cloud for today singing solemn songs of my pain the ants all building castles out of dirt my love she has grown out of it and everyone in my life knows her name her green is overwhelmed by my strain she has tremendous love for her kin without a single word she has said that i will favor strength for my kin that i will extend lengths for my kin that i will bleed in towns for my kin perhaps destroy myself for my kin yeah i will bleed in towns yeah then i felt a rush through my blood finally understood i am her and everyone is angry at themselves not nearly enough love for oneself and everyone is stealing form themselves and everyones dishonest with themselves and everyone is voting against themselves and everyone is killing themselves and everyone is choking themselves and everyone is drowning themselves and everyone is falling for themselves and everyone is yeah everyone is

about

Bugs Inside has been in the making for well over a year; it is easily the longest and most ambitious musical project I have ever attempted. The recordings are rough and largely unmixed as usual. Nevertheless, I am extremely proud of each and every one of these songs, and I urge those who enjoy it to give each one a listen.

And I want to say thank you, from the absolute bottom of my heart, to all those who listen.

credits

released April 13, 2018

nobody helped me

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Harrison Watters Brooklyn, New York

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