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It Was Dark, It Was Raining, And Nobody Helped Me

by Harrison Watters

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1.
Space Cake 03:00
its a beautiful day and my heads up in space with the spaciest space cake around breathing loud and thinking all in circles if i write these things down maybe shell come around bring some life to this so called hometown but the tv shows and fast food keep me grounded when i get anxious ill turn to my anchor it keeps me from moving i need not lift a finger as long as i just lay here i walk along the barriers of the socially acceptable oh how delectable blood pours out my cuticles my spine is bending inwards and outwards inwards and outwards id bloom like a flower with a shave and a shower but i just get louder and louder now its time to lie back and consider all the facts all the things that we can know for sure cause ive been told so much my head is splitting ive got headsplitting headaches for days these days so i toss and i turn and quite consciously yearn for the furnace in my chest to burn if theres a way ill find it ill lose my young mind trying cause everyones gotta die sometime but they keep that shit quiet
2.
But Tonight 05:48
while people all just sit there waiting for theyre phones to load up some video there are folks somewhere out there who profit off their patience billion dollar corporations getting high off your information but tonight we turn a blind eye and go get drunk about it but id bleed out all my blood for any number of my dear friends but tonight i am lazy and i wont pick up for no one at all but id change my attitude if the state really cared about you but tonight they sure as hell dont and we need to let them know that i will not bleed one drop for them my mouth is shut my teeth arent gold ill break them out shown and told ignore my place and rock the boat a collection of shady shape shifters but theyd get squeamish if they saw the blisters on the palms and the souls of our feet and the x rays of our spines the true barrier is competition no one wants to better themselves just be better than everyone else but tonight were all the same tonight we feel no shame and we will summon the rain and well cut the power lines and we will feed the Earth showing the bastards what theyre worth
3.
find me swimming in the melted snow where the other kids wouldnt think to go the government cant ever know exactly what goes on here but come springtime all will become clear relationships established through this false self wont get you nowhere man wont get you nowhere my friend but if you quit acting proper and come clean anger is a beautiful thing oh youll see so this is how you speak to me when i put water in your soil and i broke in those shoes that your wearing it makes it hard to believe that you care about anything besides how you look in the mirror and i cringe at the thought of double spacing one more document or checking my sources again oh this intellect is not perfect ill never be perfect why the fuck would i want to be perfect? manic depressed in a lonely home so far from what i used to know the gas pumps and the GMOs are begging for me to come back and i listen but ill never reply
4.
when i am free ill be better off but nostalgia creates resistance puts sweat in my socks i can cross the street all by myself but where do i go do i use my power for good or for nothing at all now you shake off the fear shake off the soil shake what your momma gave ya or else all her sacrifices are in vain and if you dont care and the lord knows you ought to will you awaken a beautiful mess i doubt that you will i doubt your relevance in the great plan in this cosmic oil painting do you do you feel like a child a child outside the last tree you climbed is it still there or has it been lost do you know at all how the fields of tall grass stretch for light years on in the dark when we feel way small all these feelings of smallness build up to be larger than you and your loyal subjects and your lust for significance and power and the house and the senate and all of mother Earths inhabitants come to bear arms and participate and no one will flee cause we understand its all we have these days are strange at least to me but not to you not to thee skies are blue till they turn grey and well watch but what will we say when the clocks begin to turn the other way stating your case with unparalleled grace oxygen is stolen from the lungs of the upper class white men by the great socratic speaker of our generation theyll become the subjects of jokes that we tell to our children theyre faces will appear on ironic t shirts and well all ignore the people we were yesterday and the ones we were last year the frankly irrelevant past states of mind that brought us here breathe easy without police harassing citizens on the streets that we walk on where wealth and domination are fetishized no longer but today we remain stuck in the mud begging for food lost in crowds beaten down lost in the rain rest in pain
5.
oh my fucking god i see hotels on everything and everything i see these days is asphalt and fake evergreens dangling from rearview mirrors petri dishes full of shopping malls and i cant breathe everything exists to be sold and that includes me my time is a commodity i am numbers and statistics and i am measurable as such as is everything i touch this thinking is my crutch and i am the wasteful and thoughtless american scum which perpetuates darkness in a time of enlightenment oh my cracks in concrete burning buildings i see hotels on everything and everyones convinced that this deliberate geometry is favorable to that which we were given but everytime my brain is off i find my mind wandering to the trees and my ears to the birds and my feet to the music and everything we think is beautiful is fucking art and everyone ive ever loved is lovely in their own way
6.
i stumble as the night begins and i cant see up ahead and i just keep on missing all of my new friends its cold and the crowds wearing thin but maybe ill pour a drink talk some nonsense with those who linger around i never understood how the night ends i suppose its the Suns call i guess thats acceptable but its so unacceptable to them now i take larger strides when i step longer drags on my cigarettes just ask my lungs how hard theyve been workin and ive broken much trust and ive hurt a lot of feelings all on account of these games i didnt know i was playing the words from my heart danced around in my brain for a bit i let them when they behave on rotisserie squealing but the sweat wont put out the embers that are licking the back of your neck unreal in the way that they walk in the way that they crop up theyre pictures excluding what existed unreal as they take out the trash go to work and then come right back just rotting away on the couch
7.
lately ive been having these dreams where i am tortured brutally by my best friends and im watching all my fingers get chopped off but i felt love again ashamed ashamed of being a morning person because everyone loves to sleep in they all miss out on the colors of the early day and i keep them all to myself and the housewives leave the husbands to all their cruelties playing poker games for sinus pills and jewelry while im exploring all the life of the wet spring and i made it out alive just by thinking yet so remarkably few make it as far as me and you sit quietly and groove to the songs your fed and act normal corporations have made us blind the lack of sensation is somewhat divine but they know what theyre doing yeah they know what theyre doing they sell you bags to pull over your own head they sell you bags to put over your own heads so you cant see the injustice of our economic system so quad-annually youll vote red or blue who has the courage to ignore this illusion and stop buying fireworks for Dependence Day and a turkey for Thankstakings Day and toys for all the children on Christless day and rubber masks on Hallows Today post an online indication of our interests and crop out all the symptoms of our sickness and share it with your friends so that theyre jealous at tantalizing photographs of your everyday i hear about it endlessly all week yet breaking out of prison makes such a fool of me and you just take stock but do you have the strength to pick up and move those boxes around or turn your attention to the label on the shit you throw in the trash everyday or put down the phone and expose the real thoughts in that brain or keep faking those feelings of pleasure you will surely rot away in your own time you shall come to regret it regret it
8.
broken ankles and lungs a bleeding everything i think is useless but the corner store picks me up in a way that i understand my purpose my friends and i have figured it out everyone in this town everyones waiting to cash in on some big idea but whats cash when youve got no one to spend it on i dont think ill ever make a nickel i think ill sleep on couches forever oh sunshine smiles on the sensitive souls those who lend money and time theyve got the one key that has no lock an answerless world is endless but we will never find love well only grow strong and stronger but spines can only grow so tough and thoughts only so complete one day well sit back in our armchairs reconsider the whole thing the whole thing
9.
HEY ocean. 03:20
hey ocean where ya going hey atmosphere are ya making it clear hey spider all embroidered with beneficial instincts i wonder where mine are these days hey sinners why so bitter why so down on yourself you and me both know we aint going to hell

about

Recorded on june 23rd 2015 in one day. an initially gorgeous day that turned stormy as hell just as the album was finished. I didnt eat a thing all day. it is 5:37pm.

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released June 24, 2015

nobody helped me.

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Harrison Watters Brooklyn, New York

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